The MX Book of New Sherlock Holmes Stories, Part VI Read online

  Mind you, I was only twenty-four. (Mitchelson was older and should have been wiser).

  Paramountly, we thought that we had the Watson/Doyle style nailed. Vitally, we eschewed Americanisms (“gotten to Baker Street”, etc.). Crucially, it didn’t work: An erudite Scottish minister who doubled as a literature/computer expert looked at how Doyle used words, how Mitchelson-as-Doyle used words, and how I used words as both myself and as Doyle. I was easily differentiated from Doyle, as I was from Mitchelson. All very disheartening.

  This is a precursor to saying that writing Sherlock Holmes pastiches - good ones - is very difficult indeed. With good reason, as a veritable tsunami of often merely average and sometimes downright bad attempts at being Watson rolled out over the decades, I stepped back until a couple of years ago, when I was enthused by Editor David Marcum - on a visit to Oxford - to return to the fray and contribute to the preceding two volumes in this MX series. Others may comment on their quality (or not), but I think that is probably that from me. Just as I have always avoided contributing to the chronology of Sherlock Holmes’s cases - because it is too damn hard - so I believe that the art of a goodish pasticheur is to write little and rarely. How many did Starrett pen, or S. C. Roberts? Steer clear of the bandwagon unless you are very sure of your abilities.

  All that said, there are some crackers in this latest collection and I am grateful to David for having afforded me some space to surmise.

  Nicholas Utechin, BSI

  Oxford, U.K.

  January 2017

  EDITOR’S NOTE: As we were going to press, Nick Utechin passed on to me the sad news that Austin Mitchelson passed away in late February of this year.

  “The Universality of the Man’s Interests”

  by Roger Johnson

  When Derrick Belanger asked about his vision for The MX Book of New Sherlock Holmes Stories, David Marcum said, “My main condition when assembling the stories was that the authors’ submissions had to be about the true Holmes and Watson from the Original Canon. There could be no parodies, and no new characteristics about them that were not in the original stories.” In an interview with The Baker Street Babes, he explained that the stories “should be set within the lifetime ranges of the historical Holmes and Watson, men who were born in the 1850s and lived into the 20th Century. The characters cannot be uprooted and modernized, for if they are moved to different eras, whether it’s the present or the ancient past or three-hundred years from now (as has been done in some Star Trek stories) they are not the correct Holmes and Watson who were born in the Victorian era, and thus the stories are no longer about Holmes and Watson. The characters should use the language and technology available to them during the appropriate timeframe - no time machines or overblown supernatural encounters with Dracula - and their behaviour should match that established in the original Canonical stories as well.”

  Over the years, we’ve been presented with Sherlock Holmes as a time-traveller from the distant future, Holmes as a 19th-century man re-awoken in the late 20th century - or in the 22nd century, Holmes as a woman, Holmes and Watson as a gay couple, Watson as a woman, Watson as a robot, Holmes as a ghost-hunter.... With or without the faithful Doctor, the Detective has, we’re told, met Rudolf Rassendyll, Reginald Jeeves, Scarlett O’Hara, Tarzan, Captain Nemo, James Bond, Richard Hannay, Sigmund Freud, Theodore Roosevelt.... He has come up against A.J. Raffles, Arsène Lupin, Dr. Crippen, Count Dracula, Baron Frankenstein, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, the Phantom of the Opera - and, of course, Jack the Ripper....

  Science-fiction, the supernatural, domestic relationships, exotic adventure, comedy, high political intrigue and much more - all of which has very little to do with the writings of Arthur Conan Doyle. Or does it?

  The chronicles of Sherlock Holmes form only a part of Conan Doyle’s very considerable output, a part that, as we know, he soon came to think of as overshadowing much more important work. (Later, of course, he realised that the public’s preference for the adventures of the great detective could be an advantage rather than a hindrance, and his daughter Dame Jean remembered that he would read each new story aloud to the family, with evident pleasure.) But consider the rest of his fiction.

  The Lost World is one of the great science-fiction novels, and a gripping tale of exotic adventure. For the supernatural, read such masterly stories as “The Leather Funnel”, “The Ring of Thoth”, and “Lot No. 249”. Domestic relationships? Try A Duet, With an Occasional Chorus. For comedy, the exploits of the redoubtable Brigadier Gérard rank high.

  With political intrigue, we’re closing in on the Holmes Canon. Think of “The Naval Treaty”, “The Second Stain”, “The Bruce-Partington Plans”, and “His Last Bow” - that last subtitled “The War Service of Sherlock Holmes” and published just a century ago.

  The fact is that all those apparently separate genres are represented in the adventures of the great detective. Holmes may have dismissed the notion of supernatural forces (“The world is big enough for us. No ghosts need apply.”) but he had to contend with apparently paranormal horrors in The Hound of the Baskervilles and “The Sussex Vampire”. The Wikipedia article on science-fiction notes that “historically science fiction stories were intended to have a grounding in science-based fact or theory at the time the story was created” - which is certainly true of “The Creeping Man”, even though the theory behind it has long since been discredited. Domestic relationships are at the heart of many of the problems brought to Baker Street: Random examples being “A Case of Identity”, “The Yellow Face”, “The Veiled Lodger”, and “The Noble Bachelor”. (The categories are not mutually exclusive: A marital relationship is of the essence in the tale of “The Sussex Vampire”, and the same is true of “The Second Stain”.)

  And if you ask whether any of Holmes’s cases can truly be classed as comedy, then I challenge you to read the story of “The Red-Headed League” without breaking into a grin at least once!

  Superficially, the stipulations that David Marcum has imposed upon his contributors may seem restrictive, but in fact they allow a great deal of latitude, and his authors wisely take advantage of it. After all, they’re simply following in the tradition set by Arthur Conan Doyle himself - and there could be no better model.

  Roger Johnson, BSI, ASH

  Editor: The Sherlock Holmes Journal

  January 2017

  Undershaw: An Ongoing Legacy for Sherlock Holmes

  by Steve Emecz

  Undershaw, Circa 1900

  The authors involved in this anthology are donating their royalties toward the restoration of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s former home, Undershaw. This building was initially in terrible disrepair, and was saved from destruction by the Undershaw Preservation Trust (Patron: Mark Gatiss). Today, the building has been bought by Stepping Stones (a school for children with learning difficulties), and is being restored to its former glory.

  The building re-opened in September 2016 as the new home for Stepping Stones, (a school for children with learning disabilities,) and has been restored to its former glory.

  Undershaw is where Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote many of the Sherlock Holmes stories, including The Hound of The Baskervilles. It’s where Conan Doyle brought Sherlock Holmes back to life. This project will contribute to specific projects at the house, such as the restoration of Doyle’s study, and will be opened up to fans outside term time.

  You can find out more information about the new Stepping Stones School at www.steppingstones.org.uk

  Steve Emecz

  London

  January 2017

  A Word From the Head Teacher of Stepping Stones

  by Melissa Farnham

  Undershaw, September 9, 2016. Grand Opening of the Stepping Stones School (Photograph courtesy of Roger Johnson)

  “Education never ends, Watson. It is a series of lessons, with the greatest for the last.
”

  - Sherlock Holmes, “The Adventure of the Red Circle”

  Whilst this may have been Sherlock Holmes’s swan song, it is a statement that reflects the ethos of his home here in Hindhead today.

  As a school, our core ethos is to empower learners for life, and with the gift of this beautiful home and the legacy that we are honoured to carry, we shall change mindsets within society just as Sir Arthur Conan Doyle did in his time while settled in this home.

  Melissa Farhnam

  Head Teacher, Stepping Stones, Undershaw

  January 2017

  Sherlock Holmes (1854-1957) was born in Yorkshire, England, on 6 January, 1854. In the mid-1870’s, he moved to 24 Montague Street, London, where he established himself as the world’s first Consulting Detective. After meeting Dr. John H. Watson in early 1881, he and Watson moved to rooms at 221b Baker Street, where his reputation as the world’s greatest detective grew for several decades. He was presumed to have died battling noted criminal Professor James Moriarty on 4 May, 1891, but he returned to London on 5 April, 1894, resuming his consulting practice in Baker Street. Retiring to the Sussex coast near Beachy Head in October 1903, he continued to be involved in various private and government investigations while giving the impression of being a reclusive apiarist. He was very involved in the events encompassing World War I, and to a lesser degree those of World War II. He passed away peacefully upon the cliffs above his Sussex home on his 103rd birthday, 6 January, 1957.

  Dr. John Hamish Watson (1852-1929) was born in Stranraer, Scotland on 7 August, 1852. In 1878, he took his Doctor of Medicine Degree from the University of London, and later joined the army as a surgeon. Wounded at the Battle of Maiwand in Afghanistan (27 July, 1880), he returned to London late that same year. On New Year’s Day, 1881, he was introduced to Sherlock Holmes in the chemical laboratory at Barts. Agreeing to share rooms with Holmes in Baker Street, Watson became invaluable to Holmes’s consulting detective practice. Watson was married and widowed three times, and from the late 1880’s onward, in addition to his participation in Holmes’s investigations and his medical practice, he chronicled Holmes’s adventures, with the assistance of his literary agent, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, in a series of popular narratives, most of which were first published in The Strand magazine. Watson’s later years were spent preparing a vast number of his notes of Holmes’s cases for future publication. Following a final important investigation with Holmes, Watson contracted pneumonia and passed away on 24 July, 1929.

  Photos of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John H. Watson courtesy of Roger Johnson

  The MX Book of New Sherlock Holmes Stories

  Part VI - 2017 Annual

  Sweet Violin

  by Bonnie MacBird

  (Imagine this... to the tune of “Sweet Violets”)

  There once was a man who is called Sherlock Holmes

  Who’s so tall and thin, you could say skin and

  Nerves and what’s special is his giant brain

  But when he’s at work you must always re–

  Frame your conception of when you should speak

  ’Cause he works in silence, he’s kind of a

  Stickler on logic and facts, just the facts!

  He’s wired, takes morphine to try to re–

  Member that he should slow down, take a breath.

  ’Cause our Sherlock Holmes works himself to near

  Train wreck but there’s no one else in his class

  And that’s because Watson stays right on his

  Case. He will keep Holmes away from his vice.

  Tells him to be civil, perhaps even

  Normal though that is a truly lost cause

  ’Cause Sherlock Holmes “normal” would give us all

  Vapors, we want him as odd as he is

  A boxer, stick fighter, musician and

  Wizard of inductive reas’ning profound

  Now what’s that I hear? It’s a beautiful-

  Sweet violin.

  Sweeter than all the roses

  Singing and scraping the bow out and in

  Note after note from his

  Sweet violin.

  Purple and blue, and a colour called mouse

  Are what Sherlock Holmes wears when he’s in the

  Mood disputatious, the mood Watson hates

  The good doctor bristles and he tempts the

  Poor bored detective from out of his lair

  They travel to Simpson’s for good English

  Beef and a chance to escape the four walls

  But Holmes has is no appetite, no not at

  Least out in London where criminals thrive

  The thrill of the chase makes him feel so

  Aware of the drawbacks of Watson’s poor brain

  His friend can be slow, and it’s kind of a

  Drag on proceedings, but does shed some light

  And he can be handy when there is a

  Brawl or villain who needs to be shot

  The doctor’s a true friend and like it or

  Else there’s the needle but better than that

  Is work and a pipe and that damned ear-flapped

  Thing on his head that we’ve seen many times

  Now shoot me before I will run out of

  Lyrics so let’s go to 221

  Be - cause it is time for this rhyme to be

  Finished or else it’s the cardinal sin

  To bore or be bored. So let’s listen to

  Sweet violin.

  Sweeter than all the roses

  Soundtrack to Holmes yes, again and again

  Note after note from that

  Sweet violin!

  The Adventure of the Murdered Spinster

  by Bob Byrne

  Through the tightly closed bow window, I could just hear the bitter wind whistling down Baker Street. Fortunately, I was ensconced in our lodgings with a cup of tea and a copy of The Lancet. My practice, never very tiring, had required little time this day and I was feeling relaxed.

  Unfortunately, that very state was abhorrent to my flat mate, Sherlock Holmes. There had not been a case worthy of testing his talents for some months and, as he said, idleness exhausted him completely. It also made him a less-than-pleasant fellow tenant.

  “Why do I even bother with these bleatings of society, Watson?” he asked, tossing aside a newspaper for the third time that evening. “The London criminal is certainly a dull fellow.”

  It was a common refrain and I no longer responded with an indignant outburst. I merely grunted noncommittally and turned my attention back to what I was reading.

  He sighed and I could feel his piercing glare boring into me. I looked up, setting the journal aside. “Lestrade or Gregson don’t have need of your talents, Holmes?”

  He eyed his cherry pipe, precariously perched on the edge of the table at his side, but decided to leave it there. “Either their cases are so mundane that they can solve them on their own, or their inflated senses of self-worth are too great for them to ask for my help at present.”

  “Charitable” is not a word I would choose to use to describe Holmes’s comments when he was in a mood such as this.

  I sighed loudly. “I really would like to finish this article, Holmes. Why don’t you paste some clippings into your scrapbooks, or study the lividity of fingernails after death by poisoning, or some such?”

  That merely earned me a snort of contempt in response. Other than the aforementioned wind, all was quiet for several minutes until he spoke again.

  “Watson, did I ever tell you of my role in solving the Gilkey murder?”

  I looked up, The Lancet instantly forgotten. I often tried to convince Holmes to share accounts of his cases from before we met.
He had teased me with vague references and hints, but rare was the time he chose to fully recount one.

  “No, you have not, Holmes. I should love to hear of it.”

  A look of solicitousness came over his face. “But I must apologize, my good man. I have interrupted your reading. Surely you will never finish that article that interests you so if I ramble on about some dusty old case. Perhaps it is best saved for another time.”

  “Really, Holmes, this is too much! You cannot bring up one of your old cases, then when I show the least bit of interest...”

  I stopped my blustering because Holmes was laughing and had raised a hand towards me. “Control yourself, Watson. I am merely goading you. Of course, I shall help us pass this cold evening with a tale. If you would be so good as to pour us fresh cups of tea?”

  I did as he requested, using this mundane task to calm my emotions. I convinced myself that it was unfair of me to remain angry when Holmes was just having a bit of fun, as he had intended to tell me of the Gilkey case all along.

  Once the tea was poured and Holmes had stoked the fire, I sat back with my pen in hand and notebook open on my knee.

  He smiled at me. “As you know, when I came down to London from University, I had two rooms in Montague Street, just around the corner from the British Museum. My nascent practice left me with no shortage of time to visit the reading rooms there and learn much of what would become useful in my chosen profession.”

  He paused to relight his pipe, then continued. “Early in 1879, I was occasionally working with a constable from the Yard named Trench.” He stared at the ceiling for a few moments. “You would have been serving in the army at this time.”

  I mumbled my assent. “Yes. I had not been wounded yet.”

  He continued. “Trench was more intelligent than the average Scotland Yarder. Of course, he had to follow procedures and orders, but he showed some signs of imagination. We would sometimes meet and discuss various aspects of investigations, and in a few instances, he allowed me to visit crime scenes. Such was the case when an elderly woman named Gilkey was murdered in her flat. You’ve not heard of her?”